She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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