did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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