we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
