He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Also, beer. Big fan.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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