HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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