3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
