ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
