That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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