im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize