who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
