So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Randomize
