I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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