New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
