I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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