Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
