next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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