with your own penis?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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