A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
