Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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