I want to make a zoo with you.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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