My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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