Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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