Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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