Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
