I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
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Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
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A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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