I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
