I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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