we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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