I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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