I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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