I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just want nice things and good sex
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
