then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
