one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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