i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
