Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I don't think brook has ever known best
please come you make the beer taste better
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
