She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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