I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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