Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
