I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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