I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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