weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
