just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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