super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
