Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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