if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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