soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
