Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
