It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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