we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
