Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
