she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
