i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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