What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
