Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize