Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
