there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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