I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
