and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
