her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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