ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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