Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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