that's an acceptable place to lick
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
