Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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