once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
