i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize