Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
