white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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